Sonnet XXXWhen to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe teIl o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think in thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.
The mention of my child's nameMay bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of her name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul.
PLEASE, don’t ask me if I’m over it yet, I’ll never be over it.PLEASE, don’t tell me she’s in a better place. She isn’t here with me.
PLEASE, don’t say at least she isn’t suffering.
I haven’t come to terms with why she had to suffer at all.
PLEASE, don’t tell me you know how I feel, unless you have lost a child.
PLEASE, don’t ask me if I feel better. Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.
PLEASE, don’t tell me at least you had her for so many years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?
PLEASE, don’t tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
PLEASE, just say you are sorry.
PLEASE, just say you remember my child,
If you do PLEASE, just let me talk about my child.
PLEASE, mention my child’s name.
PLEASE, just let me cry.
Borrowed from The Compassionate Friends
FriendDon't tell me that you understand
Don't tell me that you know,
Don't tell me that I will survive
Or how I will surely grow.
Don't tell me that this is just a test
That I am truly blessed
That I am chosen for this task
Apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgement
Of the bounds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer
And don't tell me how to cry!
My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But, I need you now,
I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, "My friend, I care."
By Joanetta Hendel
Remember MeTo the living I am gone,
To the sorrowful, I will never return
To the Angry, I was cheated
But to the happy, I am at peace
And to the faithful, I have never left
I cannot speak but can listen
I cannot be seen but I can be heard
So as you stand upon the shore,
Gazing at the beautiful sea, Remember Me.
As you look in awe at the mighty forest
And its great majesty, Remember Me.
Remember Me in your hearts,
In your thoughts & memories
Of the times we loved, the times we cried,
the battle I fought & the times we laughed
For you who will always think of me,
I will never be gone.
If I could have a lifetime wishA dream that would come true,
I'd pray to God with all my heart for
yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back,
I know because I've tried.
And neither a million tears,
I know because I've cried.
You left behind my broken heart,
And happy memories too.
But I never wanted memories
I only wanted you.
Just For Today For Bereaved ParentsJust for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours
and not expect to get over my child's death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my child's life, not just her death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could have done to save my child from death,
I would have done it.
Just for today I will honor my child's memory
by doing something with another child
because I know that would make my own child proud.
Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much
Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting her by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.
Vicki Tushinghamnach oben